January 1, 2013 § Leave a Comment
Even though it is the first day of 2013, I’m going to review the best and the worst of 2012. 2012 was a difficult year for me so I’m glad that it’s over and I’m looking forward to better experiences this year.
The Worst of 2012
This year I had to let go of a few of my friendships and this was a sad and painful experience. There are some friends that I no longer have anything in common with and our lives have gone in different directions. I had been holding on to these relationships because I don’t take friendship lightly but in the end it was best to let things go.
Another event that was difficult for me in 2012 was that my mom found a tumor in one of her breasts. She had to have immediate surgery followed by radiation treatment. Fortunately, the tumor had not spread and there is no evidence of cancer in other parts of her body. Seeing my mom sick made me realize how much I should treasure the short time that we have with the people we love.
The Best of 2012
By far, the best thing that happened in 2012 was the progress that I’ve made in my studies as a translator. I’ve completed the majority of my courses and I will complete my program by this summer. I also attended seminars and events related to the translation industry and I have a lot of goals/plans for myself. I began volunteering as a translator in 2012 as well and that has allowed me to gain more experience.
I discovered a new hobby by creating memory books. I use a book called Smashbook and it’s been a lot of fun to combine my love of journaling with photos and other memorabilia.
I’ve decided not to make any resolutions for the New Year. I read this blog post and it sums up how I feel about making New Year’s resolutions. I will continue to focus on the career goals/plans that I set for myself last year and I will take things day by day.
October 11, 2012 § 3 Comments
I found a list of 100 writing prompts on emotions here and I’ve decided to write blog posts on each of these emotions. The first “emotion” on the list is Birth. In my first blog post, I wrote how I tested at 100% introvert on the Myers-Briggs test, which makes me an extreme introvert. Since I am so introverted, I often wonder if I was born an introvert or if I’ve become a more introverted person from life experiences.
My parents often tell me stores about how I was quiet and reserved around strangers even as an infant. I only wanted to be held by my parents and I was uncomfortable around their friends. I even have baby photos of their friends holding me and I always look like I’m about to cry. As a child, I enjoyed one and one activities and I never liked group activities. This meant that going to child birthday parties or large social events was something that I didn’t look forward to doing. As much as I preferred to be around my immediately family, I still needed my own space and moments of solitude.
From elementary through high school I was bullied and I had difficulty forming friendships with others. These experiences had a profound impact on my life and they have a lot to do with how I interact with others even today. Being bullied made me withdraw deeper inside myself because of the hurt and pain that I was going through. I learned to embrace being alone and to trust only myself. Since I had difficulty making friends, I learned that not everyone is going to accept me for the person that I am. I take my time getting to know others and I’m not immediately trusting of everyone.
I believe that my introverted personality started at birth but that I probably became even more introverted because of my life experiences. Regardless of the reasons, I’m learning to accept myself more and more each day.
Do you think you were born an introvert or have life experiences also played a part in shaping your personality?
July 5, 2012 § 1 Comment
Since March 2011, I have been working full-time and studying as well. When I leave work I rush home to start homework and I no longer have time for myself. I’ve been feeling stressed and anxious because I don’t have a lot time for reflection and true solitude. Daily moments of solitude are critical for me as an individual. Solitude helps to rejuvenate my spirit especially when I’m feeling drained. It’s my time for reflection and deep thought. I’m able to focus and solve problems. It’s also the time when I’m most creative.
In June, I made the decision to take a break from classes for the summer so I could rest and relax. Everyday I come home , I turn off my phone and my computer, and I spend hours writing and creating art. This is the happiest I’ve felt in a long time.
May 2, 2012 § 4 Comments
About two weeks ago, the bus I was riding home from work was almost hit by a commuter train. I’m not sure why, but the bus driver didn’t stop at the traffic light that was before the train tracks. She just kept driving and the next thing I saw was the train coming at full speed towards us. It was honking loudly and I sat frozen and extremely frightened because the point of impact was right where I sat. I was so paralyzed that I couldn’t move! I have no explanation as the why the train didn’t hit us but I believe it was Divine Intervention. The train was coming so fast and it couldn’t stop.
Everyone was yelling at the bus driver about how the bus was almost hit by the train. The driver was uncaring and unapologetic. She claimed that she had the right of way as if it was the train’s fault. I don’t like this driver and I’ve noticed her “I-don’t-give-a-care” attitude in the past but this situation was awful! To be honest the situation was dangerous, disheartening, and disturbing. Needless to say, I reported the incident to the bus company.
I’ve kind of developed a small phobia now when we drive across the train tracks. I pay close attention to the traffic lights and whether or not the train is coming. I’ve also stopped catching the bus at the time this woman drives. I don’t want to ride with her driving ever again.
April 29, 2012 § 3 Comments
One of my goals for this year is to write every day. I recently learned about the idea of writing “Morning Pages” and I decided to use some of the ideas from this method in my daily writing. I really liked the idea of handwriting three full pages of stream-of-conscious writing however, I did not like the idea of waking up early in the morning to do this type of writing. I’m not a morning person and there is absolutely no way that I’d be able to get up 30-40 minutes earlier than normal just to write. I can barely get out of bed in the mornings as it is.
I decided to write in the evenings right before I go to bed and this method has turned out to be perfect for me. I’m able to clear my mind by writing about everything that’s in my head and it helps me to relax and to sleep better. It’s a quiet and reflective way to end my day and I find that I don’t have trouble filling up three pages with my writing. Some of these thoughts that I’ve written about have led to blog and short story ideas. I feel that this method is helping me make writing a priority in my life which is very important to me.
October 19, 2011 § 3 Comments
A few weeks ago I wrote a blog post about why I blog anonymously and how I want to maintain my privacy. Last week in my translation class, we began discussing the translation profession. One of the ways that many freelance translators seem to market themselves is through their blogs. My professor has an excellent blog on the translation profession and I’ve been discovering other translation blogs as well. I’ve noticed that these bloggers use their real names and discuss their professional lives which makes sense because they are trying to market themselves but this is still something I’m uncomfortable with.
I’ve often thought about doing a separate blog on my journey from studying to be a translator to actually becoming one and I’ve even considered using my real name. However, I’m still uncomfortable with this idea and now I’m wondering if my need for privacy could potentially affect my career. I’m sure there are many translators who don’t blog and this probably isn’t even an issue for them. I’m also sure I could come up with alternative ways to market myself. I just wonder if maybe I need to step outside of my comfort zone and try something different. Thankfully, this isn’t something I need to figure out today but it’s something think about for the future.
September 23, 2011 § 6 Comments
I started thinking about how I blog and how I decide to post something. I don’t have an elaborate method and it was important to me when I started blogging that I blogged the way that I wanted to. At first, I was a perfectionist with each post and I agonized over every word. Now I just write and then I immediately post the entry. I just have to trust that what I write has meaning. I’ve learned that I’m not a good judge as to whether or not a post I write is good or bad. I mostly write about my life and what’s on my mind at that moment. I write about being extremely introverted and the issues and misunderstandings that happen because of my personality. I also write about work and school which are also important parts of my life.
This year I challenged myself to post something each week but I honestly post when I feel like it. Some weeks I write a lot and some weeks I write nothing at all. I prefer to write my posts during the week. This can be difficult with work and school but it gives me a chance to write about something that is important to me. In the past, I would try to write my blog posts during the weekends but I prefer to use my weekends for my other artistic projects that I’m not able to engage in during the week.
September 15, 2011 § Leave a Comment
“Are you OK?” I swear this is the most insincere question that the people I work with ask me and I’m asked this question at least twice a week. Why? It’s because I’m not as talkative or as outgoing as the people around me. It’s a question that I’m asked when someone feels that I’m not paying as much attention to them or when I’m not responding in an overly emotional way. I’m a quiet person and this is just who I am. I don’t have time for small talk or gossip and I’d rather sit at my desk and get my work done than to get caught up in office politics. Maybe this seems strange to my co-workers and many of them go out of there way to come into my office to ask if I’m ok.
This question is insincere because it’s not as if they actually care about my well-being or are genuinely concerned that something serious might be going on. Maybe my silence makes them insecure as it does with a lot of people. Not everyone is comfortable with having someone in their presence who talks very little or not at all. This question also implies (in my opinion) that something is wrong with being quiet. One has to be loud and talking all the time to be happy and if a person is quiet then something must be wrong.
In the past, when I was asked this question, I would offer up some kind of excuse for being a quiet person. I would say things like, “I’m really busy” or “I have a deadline”. Not anymore. Now I simply reply, “Yes, I’m Ok” and wait for them to leave. There is nothing wrong with my quiet nature and there is nothing wrong with sitting at my desk and getting work done and I don’t need to offer any excuse for that. I’ve had a few co-workers that I’ve politely requested that they stop coming into my office and asking me if I’m ok. My behavior hasn’t changed from the first day that I’ve started working for this company and there is no reason for them to keep asking me the same question each week.
I find more and more that I’m becoming unapologetically bold in my quest for self-acceptance and in the fact that I want others to accept me for the way that I am as well. Not everyone was meant to be talkative all the time. There are many people in this life, such as myself, who were given the gift of silence and to be a quieter and calmer presence in the lives of others.