Tag: personal

Topics I Won’t Discuss With My Pen Pals

Letter set My Little Bear

Image by ♥ Xanda ♥ via Flickr

I was reading on a pen pal forum and someone asked if there were topics that people did not discuss with their pen pals.  I think that having pen pals is the same is having a true friendship with a person.  Just as there are friends in my circle that I’m closer to than others, there are pen pals that I’m closer to and I’m more open with.  Regardless of our closeness, there are still some topics that I usually don’t discuss with pen pals.

I don’t discuss politics whether it is American politics or the political situation of the countries my pen pals live in.  First, I’m not into politics at all so I’m not naturally inclined to speak about it.  Second, I don’t always understand the politics of the countries that my pen pals live in so I’m not able to speak on things in an intelligent manner.  Finally, politics can be a controversial subject and especially when you don’t agree with the way someone else views things.  Instead of initiating a conversation about a topic that might cause an argument, there are a ton of others topics that I can think of to discuss with my pen pals.

I’m also cautious about discussing religion.  I don’t mind reading about my pen pals’ religious beliefs and I think it is fascinating that there are so many spiritual beliefs around the world.  I do draw the line when people start trying to “convert” me to their spiritual beliefs and I rarely discuss my own religious beliefs with my pen pals (unless they ask).

Something that will likely happen after you’ve has been pen palling for awhile is that you will find that you and a particular pen pal will have other pen pals in common. One thing I don’t do is discuss my relationship with one pen pal to another pen pal that we have in common.  I also don’t get into conflicts if one of my pen pals starts to have problems with another pen pal that we have in common.  I don’t like to be drawn into another person’s conflicts and I think the best way to resolve a problem you’re having with a person is to deal with that person one on one without having others get involved.

Since I’m a private person, I don’t always talk about whom I’m dating and I never discuss my sex life.  This is something that is personal and I’m actually like this with my circle of friends that aren’t pen pals.  I’ve never been the type of woman who feels that I need to talk about every single aspect of my love life and who I may or may not be dating

My Feelings Toward Online Dating

Online romance
I have used a few online dating services and have been unsuccessful with meeting anyone online for many reasons. I’ve tried some paid online dating sites such as Eharmony and Match.com as well as few free sites.

When I tried Eharmony, I had to take a personality test in order to sign up and I “failed” the test. Basically, they must not have liked my answer because I got some kind of e-mail telling me they weren’t able to match me with anyone at that time. I waited a year and then I took the personality test again and this time I “passed” and they were able to match me with people. The personality test actually turned me off because I can be really bad at taking them. There were plenty of times when the answer that I would give to a question wasn’t even one of the options, so I just picked the best one which didn’t always reflect my true personality. I believe this is what happened with the Eharmony personality test. Neither of the results, from the two times that I took the test, were an accurate analysis of my personality. Subsequently, I didn’t like any of the people I was matched with and I quit using the site after a few months.

With the other websites that I used, I also had a hard time connecting with people and this mimics my situation in real life. I don’t easily connect with every single person I meet and I never expected that I would magically find a bunch of guys that I would connect with. I’m also an extreme introvert and I was upfront and honest about that aspect of my personality. There are negative connotations associated with being introverted and I feel like many guys may have been turned off with this aspect of my personality.

Another problem I encountered with online dating was that I communicated with a lot of creepy guys. You can meet a creepy person on the street but there seemed to be a lot of desperate guys on these sites. Many wanted me to immediately give them my cell number so we could text offline. They also wanted my personal e-mail to communicate with me without using the dating sites’ e-mail. I never gave any guy any of my personal information that acted like this and I was disturbed by their behavior. They were way too pushy and overbearing which are not qualities that I’m looking for in a potential partner.

I’m also not in a big hurry to be in a relationship. I think because I’m not actively looking to find someone serious, then I’m not really committed to the whole process. There were plenty of times when I never responded to people who may have been potential mates simply because I didn’t have time or I was busy with other things so I may have missed out on opportunities. At this point in my life, I’m happy being single and living life the way I want.

Even though I wasn’t successful with online dating, I feel that people should try it at least once just to see if it’s for them. I do believe that people can make genuine connections with others using these services but it’s just not for me.

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Are you too lazy or too busy?

The Daily Post:  Are you too lazy or too busy?

It’s both for me.  This has been one of the busiest years and I’m too busy for a lot of things.  Between my heavy workload at my job and then graduate school, I do not have a lot of time for myself and for my hobbies.  There are times when I would love to indulge in something that would make me happy but I don’t have time and I end up feeling overwhelmed and disappointed.

I feel that being too busy had also lead me to be too lazy.  It is summer and I created a list of plans for this summer and I haven’t accomplished any of them.  I’m just too tired and lazy to do anything when I come home. Since it is so hot, I don’t have the energy to do much and I find myself lying around under my central air.  This also leaves me feeling disappointed in myself because I’m not a lazy person and when I set goals for myself, I work to accomplish them.

This was not the plan I had for my life when I was younger.  I did not want to become some robot that never had time for anything.  I didn’t want to become the type of person that was too busy or too tired to do anything because of their job but that is what has become of my life.  One of my friends suggested that I make an effort do something that I really love each night and soon it will become a habit.  I think that is an excellent suggestion and one that I will put into practice.

The Absent Co-worker

I think everyone has had to deal with a co-worker that was chronically absent and always seemed to be “sick” during crucial times at work.  I was fortunate and did not have that problem until a year ago and now the problem seems to be getting worse.  I currently have two co-workers that are absent a lot and it’s a huge problem.

The first co-worker and I have the same title and we split the responsibilities.  I enjoy working with her but she has been absent during critical times when we are extremely busy.  The reason why she is absent is because her child gets sick.  Obviously, I’m not blaming her or her child and I understand the need to stay at home with a sick child.  It still frustrates me how I am left with all the responsibilities with little to no help.  Not only is it frustrating, but it’s also stressful and overwhelming because of our heavy workloads.  I don’t know what the solution is to this problem and I fear that if she has another child, she’ll be absent even more.

My second co-worker is our senior accountant and he comes to work about 2 to 3 times a week.  When he does come in, he works until 9 or 10 am and then he disappears.  No one can find this guy and I’m positive he’s not getting much done since I get e-mails asking about reports he hasn’t done.  Since his boss works in another location, there is no one to keep tabs on him.  I’m sure his lack of productivity has not gone entirely unnoticed, but his behavior continues.

More and more, I feel irritated at work and I probably need a vacation.  There are times when I feel like I have a better work ethic than others, I’m more responsible, and I’m more willing to help others and for these reasons I’m beginning to feel taken advantage of.  None of this has paid off and I’m stuck in the a position with no growth.  I would like to change jobs but so far I’m not finding anything that would be worth me leaving my current position for.

Acceptance

This topic comes from The Daily Post

Where do you find acceptance?  For your ideas? For the secret notions you have for who you really want to be? Or think you  are? Who are the friends, family, or co-workers who are most accepting for your true self? And how do they demonstrate their acceptance? What is different about how they treat you than other people?

The topic of self-acceptance is important to me because it took me a long time to accept myself for who I really am.  I spent a lot of years trying to mold myself into the person that I thought would be more acceptable to others and to society in general.  In my journey to find acceptance, I began to realize that the only way I could find true acceptance was to accept myself for who I was. I do not fit the mold of mainstream society by the way that I look, my personality, or my values.  I’m a fiercely individualistic, independent woman and I make my own decisions about the journey that I’ve chosen to take in this life.  I don’t consult anyone and I live my life the way I want to.   For many people, my independence can make me seem selfish or self-centered but all I have is myself.  However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t consider how my actions will affect others.  I am a quiet, observant, introverted person and I love my solitude.  This goes against society’s love of extroverts and constantly being the life of the party.  I am also a creative person that values all things beautiful and expressive.  I don’t always think or act in a linear, defined way and that can seem strange to many.

I accept myself for the person I am and I no longer care whether others are accepting of me or not.  I don’t want to live my life as someone who followed after others but as the person who had the courage to follow my own unique path.  I don’t want to be the person that looks on their life and wonders how life would have been if they had tried something different or stepped outside the box.  The only two people who I can honestly say are accepting of my true self are my parents.  They know me and they encourage me even when they don’t understand my motives for some of the things I do.  I think this is because they are also very independent people and they see many of their characteristics in my personality.  They are not critical of who I am and they do not try to force me to be someone who I’m not.

How Grad School Is Helping to De-clutter My Life

Largest open space in Reading.

Image via Wikipedia

I’ve been taking a graduate class for four weeks and I’m already starting to see how being in school is helping to de-clutter my life.  Since I work full-time, I have to immediately start studying when I come home if I’m going to get all of my reading and assignments done.  This leaves me with little time for other activities and prioritizing has become an important skill to me.

One of the most noticeable ways that my life is becoming de-cluttered is that I no longer have time to watch tv because of my school work.  I’m sad to admit this but in the past, I would watch a lot of tv.  My routine was to come home from work and turn on the tv as a way to de-stress which wasn’t healthy.  Now I come home and study a subject that is exciting to me and that I’m passionate about.  As stressful as school can be, it’s a stress reliever in a way since it takes away my focus from the stress at work.

Lately, I’m not as pre-occupied with my job as I was in the past.  There are days that I have stress but I’m more focused on school than anything else.  Even when I’m at work, I’m thinking about school and reflecting on what I’ve been learning.

I’ve started appreciating my alone time and my hobbies even more now since I’ve been in school.  Since my personal time is limited, I’ve become even more interested in my hobbies.  I can’t wait until Fridays and Saturdays when I’m able to take personal time for myself.

Another aspect of my life that grad school has helped to de-clutter is that I’ve been able to disengage myself from broken relationships.  I don’t have the mental space to absorb my studies and then deal with the broken and misguided friendships/relationships in my life.  This is freeing because my spirit is no longer being depleted by these issues.

Five Ways I Procrastinate

Normally, I am an organized person when it comes to balancing work and school but there are times I procrastinate and I put off something until the last minute.  There are five ways that I procrastinate: surfing the internet, watching TV, running errands, reading a book, and taking a nap.

Surfing the internet- Whenever I want to procrastinate, I can always find something to look at one the internet.  I frequently check Facebook and Twitter and there are times when I feel that both sites are a time waster.  I also get caught up in reading my favorite blogs and time passes quickly. 

Watching TV- Whenever I don’t want to do readings for school, I will always turn on the TV and start watching something.  I tell myself that I’m just going to watch for 30 minutes and I end of watching for an hour or more which leaves me with less time to finish my readings.  I always feel guilty about this so I try hard not to even turn on the TV.

Running errands- I normally run all of my errands on Sunday morning unless it’s something that I really need.  However, I’ve started using this as a way to procrastinate.  Instead of coming straight home after work and starting my studies, I will go grocery shopping or run to the post office just to kill time.

Reading a book- I have a lot of reading to do for class and yet I still love reading literature.  There are times when I will come home and start reading a novel as opposed to my readings for school.  While I enjoy the time spent with a good book that was time that I should have been working on school assignments.

Taking a nap- This is a huge one for me because I love to sleep.  I could honestly take a nap just about anywhere.  I tell myself that I’ll take a 30 minute nap and then I’ll get up and do work but that never happens.  Usually I sleep past the 30 minutes even though I use an alarm clock and I don’t get any work done.

I Wish My Hobbies Would Keep Me Fit

Pilates at a Gym Category:Pilates Category:Fit...

Image via Wikipedia

I wish all of my hobbies – writing, penpalling, reading, watching documentaries, surfing the internet – would keep me fit.  Sadly, they don’t and none of them involve physical activity so I’m sitting while I’m doing them.

Fortunately, I like to exercise.   One of my favorite forms of exercise is walking.  I usually walk for 30 minutes on my lunch hour if the weather is nice and 30 minutes after work when I come home.  I also try to walk to the grocery store that’s near me if I know that I won’t be buying a lot of items.  Using public transportation adds to my walking routine since I have to walk to and from the train/bus stations.

Walking helps to relieve a lot of stress.  I can let my mind wander and I’m inspired by being outside.  This is how I became interested in my newest hobby which is photography.  I wanted to capture the beauty I was able to notice by not driving.

I’ve been wanting to take an exercise class for a while and I signed up to take spinning, Pilates, and Zumba.  Of all these classes, spinning is the one that intimidates me but I’m sure I’ll be fine.

A thought

Vienna. Palais Erzherzog Albrecht - Hall of Mu...

Image via Wikipedia

Recently, I’ve been feeling more inspired to write while I’m at work.  This is strange because my job is the least creative or inspiring place.  I spend most days looking at spreadsheets and concentrating on numbers to make sure everything balances.  There is a complexity to the processes I have to follow and attention to detail is key.  I’ve become disciplined in not letting my mind wander.  Since I’m so focused on my tasks, there isn’t time for creative thought.

Yet, my mind is rebelling.  Every morning I seem to be full of  ideas and I find myself quickly writing them down.  These ideas inspire me and I have a strong desire to write.  Sadly, it isn’t possible for me to do this and there are many times when I feel that I miss opportunities to write something beautiful.

I wonder if these moments are happening more often at work as a way to refresh me and to help me to feel positive.  I must admit that these ideas are welcomed and they seem to help relieve the stress that I feel during the day.  I’m also wondering if in a strange way my job is my muse. It’s an interesting thought  and my job seems to be the place where I’m suddenly the most creative.  I’ve never thought of my muse as being the place where I work but I’ve decided to accept this and to enjoy the moments of creativity it brings.

 

Languages I Speak

I can speak two languages fluently: English and Spanish. English is my first language and Spanish is my second, however I speak Spanish as well as I speak English. Many times people have thought I was originally from Latin America because I speak Spanish so well. I started learning Spanish when I was middle school and took a few Spanish classes when I was high school. In college, I decided to major in Spanish because I loved the language so much. I would spend hours studying the language and perfecting my accent so that I would be able to properly pronounce the words. I lived abroad a short time to build my fluency and that was one of the best experiences of my life.

Speaking Spanish has a huge influence in my life. I speak, read, write, think, and even dream in Spanish. There are even times when words or sentences will come to me completely in Spanish even though I’m speaking in English. I think that this something that happens to a lot of people who are bilingual. Many people have a hard time understanding how I could be so fluent in another language that was not spoken to me from birth but it’s possible. I have friends who have also learned other languages and many of them have the same experiences as I do.

I’m interested in learning French and Portuguese. Hopefully, I’ll be able to take classes to learn these languages also.

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