Tag: blogging

Levels of Friendship

From The Daily Post:  How many friends can a person have? How many good or close friends do you think a person can have?  What happens if they try to maintain more than that? Is there a fixed number, or are there things a person can do to be connected to more people?  What about social networks like Facebook and Twitter?

I think that the number of close friendships a person can have depends on the person and how they define friendships.  Some people are able to maintain large circles of friends and some aren’t.  I’m not the type of person that can maintain a large group of friends.  I think my quiet nature and the fact that I like to spend a lot of time alone prohibits me from having a large circle of friends and I’m fine with that.  I’m happy with the intimacy that comes from only knowing a small group of people.  When it comes to how close I may be to someone, there are “levels of closeness” that I would use to describe my relationships with others.

The people who I am closest to are the people who are a part of my inner circle and they include my immediate family and my two best friends.  These people are the closest relationships that I have and the ones that I value the most.  When it comes to my two best friends, I’m extremely lucky to have these two people in my life.  We’ve known each other since childhood and there is a level of comfort and understanding that I have with them that I don’t have with any of my other friends.  There is a bond that goes beyond words and I don’t have to explain myself to them and they don’t have to explain themselves to me.  We just know.

The second level of closeness would be my friends.  I probably have about 25 – 30 people who I consider my friends.  My relationship with each friend is different and there are some friends that I’m more closer to than others.  An interesting fact is that besides my two best friends, I really don’t have many friends from my childhood.  The majority of my friends are people who I met in college and after college.

The next level is acquaintances.  These are people who I’m friendly towards or that I see on a daily basis but I’m not close to nor do I consider them friends.  As a rule, the people I work with are acquaintances.  I’ve learned the hard way that “work friendships” aren’t always a good idea.

The final level would be strangers and these are people who I have no relationship with at all.  That doesn’t mean that a stranger can never become an acquaintance or a friend.  One of the best things in life is meeting someone you don’t know and possibly building a friendship with that person.

When it comes to social networks, I only use Facebook for friends and family.  All of the people who are my friends on Facebook are people who I know and that I talk to.  As you can imagine, I have a very low number of Facebook friends.  with Twitter, I’m more open about who I follow and who follows me.  I mostly use it to let others know when I’ve posted something to my blogs.

Astraphobia: Fear of Thunder and Lightning

The thunder and lightning

Image via Wikipedia

Right now it is monsoon season in Colorado and this is an unnerving time of the year for me because I have a serious fear of thunder and lightning.  According to this website, the fear of thunder and lightning is called atraphobia.  When people think of Colorado, I’m not sure the word monsoon comes to mind.  We have an active monsoon season that can begin in late June and last through August.  These storms begin in the late afternoon and can continue, off and on, through the evening.  These storms usually include heavy rain, thunder, lightning and sometimes hail.   It’s the thunder and lightning part that really gets to me.

I’ve been scared of thunder and lightning since I was a child.  I don’t like loud noises and that is where this fear started.  The louder the thunder would get, the more nervous I would become.  Seeing lightning flash also makes me nervous because of the fear that loud thunder will sound.  When I’m at home, I take a chair into my walk-in closet and I wait out the storm.  My walk-in closet is in my bathroom so I turn on the bathroom fan and the noise from the fan helps the thunder to not sound so loud.  When I’m at work, I go to the break room and sit in there until the storm passes.  If I’m caught outside in a storm, my symptoms can be out of control.   I’ll have “panic attacks” in which I’m shaking and crying.  I’m also obsessed with checking the weather apps on my cellphone to make sure that no storms are near when I leave for work or go some place.

A lot of times I do feel embarrassed to have this fear and I’m not sure how to deal with it.  So far, I don’t believe that this phobia affects my life too much.  I’m not afraid to leave the house unless I see that a storm is coming and then I’ll wait for it to pass.  I guess I just hope that this phobia doesn’t get worse and that I don’t get to the point where I’m not able to enjoy my life.

Topics I Won’t Discuss With My Pen Pals

Letter set My Little Bear

Image by ♥ Xanda ♥ via Flickr

I was reading on a pen pal forum and someone asked if there were topics that people did not discuss with their pen pals.  I think that having pen pals is the same is having a true friendship with a person.  Just as there are friends in my circle that I’m closer to than others, there are pen pals that I’m closer to and I’m more open with.  Regardless of our closeness, there are still some topics that I usually don’t discuss with pen pals.

I don’t discuss politics whether it is American politics or the political situation of the countries my pen pals live in.  First, I’m not into politics at all so I’m not naturally inclined to speak about it.  Second, I don’t always understand the politics of the countries that my pen pals live in so I’m not able to speak on things in an intelligent manner.  Finally, politics can be a controversial subject and especially when you don’t agree with the way someone else views things.  Instead of initiating a conversation about a topic that might cause an argument, there are a ton of others topics that I can think of to discuss with my pen pals.

I’m also cautious about discussing religion.  I don’t mind reading about my pen pals’ religious beliefs and I think it is fascinating that there are so many spiritual beliefs around the world.  I do draw the line when people start trying to “convert” me to their spiritual beliefs and I rarely discuss my own religious beliefs with my pen pals (unless they ask).

Something that will likely happen after you’ve has been pen palling for awhile is that you will find that you and a particular pen pal will have other pen pals in common. One thing I don’t do is discuss my relationship with one pen pal to another pen pal that we have in common.  I also don’t get into conflicts if one of my pen pals starts to have problems with another pen pal that we have in common.  I don’t like to be drawn into another person’s conflicts and I think the best way to resolve a problem you’re having with a person is to deal with that person one on one without having others get involved.

Since I’m a private person, I don’t always talk about whom I’m dating and I never discuss my sex life.  This is something that is personal and I’m actually like this with my circle of friends that aren’t pen pals.  I’ve never been the type of woman who feels that I need to talk about every single aspect of my love life and who I may or may not be dating

My Feelings Toward Online Dating

Online romance
I have used a few online dating services and have been unsuccessful with meeting anyone online for many reasons. I’ve tried some paid online dating sites such as Eharmony and Match.com as well as few free sites.

When I tried Eharmony, I had to take a personality test in order to sign up and I “failed” the test. Basically, they must not have liked my answer because I got some kind of e-mail telling me they weren’t able to match me with anyone at that time. I waited a year and then I took the personality test again and this time I “passed” and they were able to match me with people. The personality test actually turned me off because I can be really bad at taking them. There were plenty of times when the answer that I would give to a question wasn’t even one of the options, so I just picked the best one which didn’t always reflect my true personality. I believe this is what happened with the Eharmony personality test. Neither of the results, from the two times that I took the test, were an accurate analysis of my personality. Subsequently, I didn’t like any of the people I was matched with and I quit using the site after a few months.

With the other websites that I used, I also had a hard time connecting with people and this mimics my situation in real life. I don’t easily connect with every single person I meet and I never expected that I would magically find a bunch of guys that I would connect with. I’m also an extreme introvert and I was upfront and honest about that aspect of my personality. There are negative connotations associated with being introverted and I feel like many guys may have been turned off with this aspect of my personality.

Another problem I encountered with online dating was that I communicated with a lot of creepy guys. You can meet a creepy person on the street but there seemed to be a lot of desperate guys on these sites. Many wanted me to immediately give them my cell number so we could text offline. They also wanted my personal e-mail to communicate with me without using the dating sites’ e-mail. I never gave any guy any of my personal information that acted like this and I was disturbed by their behavior. They were way too pushy and overbearing which are not qualities that I’m looking for in a potential partner.

I’m also not in a big hurry to be in a relationship. I think because I’m not actively looking to find someone serious, then I’m not really committed to the whole process. There were plenty of times when I never responded to people who may have been potential mates simply because I didn’t have time or I was busy with other things so I may have missed out on opportunities. At this point in my life, I’m happy being single and living life the way I want.

Even though I wasn’t successful with online dating, I feel that people should try it at least once just to see if it’s for them. I do believe that people can make genuine connections with others using these services but it’s just not for me.

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Are you too lazy or too busy?

The Daily Post:  Are you too lazy or too busy?

It’s both for me.  This has been one of the busiest years and I’m too busy for a lot of things.  Between my heavy workload at my job and then graduate school, I do not have a lot of time for myself and for my hobbies.  There are times when I would love to indulge in something that would make me happy but I don’t have time and I end up feeling overwhelmed and disappointed.

I feel that being too busy had also lead me to be too lazy.  It is summer and I created a list of plans for this summer and I haven’t accomplished any of them.  I’m just too tired and lazy to do anything when I come home. Since it is so hot, I don’t have the energy to do much and I find myself lying around under my central air.  This also leaves me feeling disappointed in myself because I’m not a lazy person and when I set goals for myself, I work to accomplish them.

This was not the plan I had for my life when I was younger.  I did not want to become some robot that never had time for anything.  I didn’t want to become the type of person that was too busy or too tired to do anything because of their job but that is what has become of my life.  One of my friends suggested that I make an effort do something that I really love each night and soon it will become a habit.  I think that is an excellent suggestion and one that I will put into practice.

The Absent Co-worker

I think everyone has had to deal with a co-worker that was chronically absent and always seemed to be “sick” during crucial times at work.  I was fortunate and did not have that problem until a year ago and now the problem seems to be getting worse.  I currently have two co-workers that are absent a lot and it’s a huge problem.

The first co-worker and I have the same title and we split the responsibilities.  I enjoy working with her but she has been absent during critical times when we are extremely busy.  The reason why she is absent is because her child gets sick.  Obviously, I’m not blaming her or her child and I understand the need to stay at home with a sick child.  It still frustrates me how I am left with all the responsibilities with little to no help.  Not only is it frustrating, but it’s also stressful and overwhelming because of our heavy workloads.  I don’t know what the solution is to this problem and I fear that if she has another child, she’ll be absent even more.

My second co-worker is our senior accountant and he comes to work about 2 to 3 times a week.  When he does come in, he works until 9 or 10 am and then he disappears.  No one can find this guy and I’m positive he’s not getting much done since I get e-mails asking about reports he hasn’t done.  Since his boss works in another location, there is no one to keep tabs on him.  I’m sure his lack of productivity has not gone entirely unnoticed, but his behavior continues.

More and more, I feel irritated at work and I probably need a vacation.  There are times when I feel like I have a better work ethic than others, I’m more responsible, and I’m more willing to help others and for these reasons I’m beginning to feel taken advantage of.  None of this has paid off and I’m stuck in the a position with no growth.  I would like to change jobs but so far I’m not finding anything that would be worth me leaving my current position for.

Ten Plans for Summer

I finished my final project for my Intercultural Communications class on Sunday and now I’m ready for summer and lots of “me” time.  Here are my top ten plans for summer:

1. Read One Years of Solitude by Gabriel Gracía Márquez (in Spanish)

2. Learning how to paint with watercolors

3. Art journaling

4.  Weekend trips to the mountains

5.  Sitting by the pool

6.  Eating lots of Pinkberry

7.  Photographing old buildings around Denver

8.  Career planning

9.  Pedicures

10.  Daily self-reflection writing

Training

I only have two more weeks of the Intercultural Communications class and I am currently working on my final project.  In this class we’ve been studying different approaches to training on intercultural communications as well as ways to develop and implement the training.  Last week my professor showed us a video of her doing an intercultural training module for a group.  It was interesting to watch the dynamics between her and the people she was training.  She was very friendly with everyone and extremely approachable.  She was also really funny and just seemed to be “on”.  It’s interesting because there was a time when I thought that I would want to be a professional trainer.  I thought that it would fit well with my personality as well as the skills that I have as a professional.  The more I think about it, them more I realize that training would not have been a good career for me.

I think that I was drawn to training as a career option at one point in my life because I have been the department trainer in a few of my jobs.  Whenever there was a new person, I would be responsible for training them in addition to my other duties.  I was successful at it and I think the reason why is because I was training someone one on one.  I wasn’t standing up in front of a group of people where all eyes were watching me.  I also wasn’t trying to entertain the person I was training to keep them interested in what I was teaching them.  It seems like you have to “perform” and always be “on” in order to be a successful trainer and that makes sense.  No one wants to listen to a person they feel is boring or uninteresting.  By nature, I am not a person who is always up for performance.  I have a good sense of humor but I don’t know if I could easily tell jokes or be entertaining in order to hold someone’s attention during training.

I know what it’s like to perform because I’ve studied music since I was a child and I’ve participated in many music concerts and recitals.  As nervous as I would be, once I started playing, it would actually be a wonderful experience.  There was an energy I felt from playing the music and there was an energy I would feel from the audience that was listening.  Maybe that’s what my professor feels when she trains.  Because I was passionate about the music I was playing, I believe that is the reason I could get up and perform and maybe that is same way my professor feels just as passionate about the subject she trains on.

Moleskine Book Journal

I love journals and I try to write in mine everyday.  To be honest, I’m obsessed with journals and this is my latest obsession:  The Moleskine Book Journal.

I bought this journal to keep track of all the books I’ve read and to keep track of the ones that I plan on reading.  It has pages (in alphabetical order) that you can use to write your reflections about the books you’re read.

It comes with this cute bookmark as wells labels you can use to personalize the additional blank pages.

I’m an avid book reader and I hope that I’ll put this journal to good use this summer since I’ll have more time to read.

Why I Hate Mondays

Monday Blues

Image by ToniVC via Flickr

Mondays are the worse day of the week for me.  I’m so anxious about them that I begin to feel nervous on Sunday evenings.  I even have a hard time falling asleep on Sunday nights.  I feel irritated about having to leave the sanctuary of my home and to go back out into the real world.  On the weekends, I retreat from work and school (if possible) and I relax.  I’m able to recharge my energy levels and I start to feel normal again.  Then Monday comes and I’m forced to deal with all the stress of life all over again.

Another aspect of Mondays that I dislike is how all of my co-workers try to outdo each other with their stories of what they did over the weekend.  If one person brags about how much they partied and how much they drank, then another person comes along and has to tell an even more exaggerated story about their weekend.  It’s ridiculous and a waste of time and energy to listen to these stories.  I try to avoid getting pulled into these conversations by telling my co-workers that I have a lot to do.

Mondays are probably the days that I do the least amount of work.  I feel low on Mondays and I lack motivation.  It’s as if my body and my mind are at war with the reality that another week has started.  I wish there was a way that I could relax my mind so I wouldn’t feel so poorly on Monday mornings.

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